That’s What She Wed


Toast – Mad Libs-style
August 19, 2008, 3:08 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I thought maybe I could contribute something positive here (aside from my charming cynicism, that is), so I figured that, as a writer, maybe it would be helpful to put together a toast that others could use by filling in a few blanks. And then presto – instant toast! Especially without all the hassle of actually having to reflect on your friendship, the past, good times, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, all you need are a few key pieces of information to make it your own and you’re good to go.

“Well, I met (bride’s name) back in (year) when we were both at (name of school or place of employment). What a crazy time! Let me tell you, I’m never drinking (hard liquor of choice) ever again. We used to (verb) every weekend and had an awesome time (verb) with the really (adjective) guys we met in (name of neighborhood). But that was all before she met (name of groom). I gotta admit, I thought (name of groom) was a real (noun) the first time I met him. But I’m happy to be wrong because he and (name of bride) make such a great couple. But, (name of groom), I want you to know that if you ever hurt her, I will (verb) and (violent verb). And don’t forget that I still have all those (nouns) from last years’ trip to (name of sketchy Mexican city), and I’m so not afraid of letting the cat out of the bag. Congratulations, you two! To (name of bride) and (name of groom)!”

…and cue beeline for the open bar before people start asking questions.

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